Wang Unnie

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Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 11:56 a.m.
Friday, February 6, 2004

i'm out...

I decided to stop writing in this journal. It was fun for awhile, but like all things, I get really excited about it and then I lose interest. I really need to fix that. Anyways, I haven't been really good keeping up with this blog. Also, I hate being dependent on other people to make my blog pretty. Thanks Mitra for making an outlet for me to rant.

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 09:37 a.m.
Wednesday, November 12, 2003

shopping...

Went shopping today with my brother and friend. I spent sooo much money but it was worth it. I love everything I bought. I bought a lot of workout clothes cuz I decided to exercise everyday. I got a membership to 24 hour fitness and I intend to use it. In the beginning I only went when my friends drove me but they don't seem to be committed to going everyday. I will be waking up early everyday (starting Monday) to exercise. Also, I gave myself a time limit. I am going to get a job by the end of October. No more procrastinating. By New Year's, I want to be at my ideal weight and have my ideal career. Some of you must be wondering what came over me. Well, a lot of things have been changing. My family life is stablizing (FINALLY). I've learned not expect a lot from people, which will save me from heartache. I also realized that people who I thought were on my side were actually making fun me, do not respect me, or care much about me. Enough is enough. I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself. I have set my goals and I will achieve them. I know there will be moments of weakness where I will write depressing entries in my blog, but damn it, I will succeed. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 01:38 a.m.
Sunday, September 21, 2003

token...

Yesterday, I came back from my family trip. We went to Sedona and then to the Grand Canyon. It was a lot of fun just hanging out with my family. The water in Arizona is soooooo yummy. I took two showers cuz I couldn't get enough of the water. Anyways, on the way to Sedona, I had a lot to think about. I realized that from my group of friends, I am the token ugly girl. What made me realize this was when I went to dinner with my boss and co-workers. The girls brought their boyfriends and husbands. Even Elinor who just broke up with her boyfriend two weeks ago. Anyways, I felt sooo pathetic. There were some single people but they had reasons why they couldn't bring their dates. Besides, I was the only female without a date. And to top it all off, Elinor who is beautiful, dressed up and made herself even more so. Everyone was raving about her looks and I felt like a bum. This world is based on looks and no matter how nice someone is, it doesn't matter. That is why in this world, I don't exist. If you are ugly, you won't get anywhere. I have heard all the b.s. about how personality matters but I don't believe that anymore. Elinor is a major bitch and a fuck off at work, but she doesn't get fired. Everyone loves her, just because she is very pretty and knows how to kiss ass. I know I sound really resentful but I need to let out some steam. I mean, Elinor falls asleep, she chats online, and talks on the phone at work and yet, I get yelled at if something goes wrong. Nothing happens to her. Is this fair? Am I not worthy of any praise or even a comment? You know what's sad? My boss, who I had such respect and love for, asked everyone in our hakwon to bring a date, except me. She didn't tell me cuz she didn't think I could get one. Am I that ugly? I'm just expected to come a make everyone laugh. I'm just everyone's jester, here to amuse everyone. Well, at least I know where I stand and who I am important to. No one...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 04:58 p.m.
Monday, September 1, 2003

ahchoo ahchoo...

I'm sick...=*( It started with a sore throat then blossomed to a flu. I can barely talk cuz I'm sooo hoarse. It doesn't help that I have been yelling at my class. I'm just glad I wasn't sick while Gina was here. Miss you, Gina!! Tomorrow is the last day for summer classes. I will be working in the afternoons now. I really need to look for a morning job. I have been looking at the sunday times but nothing... Parisa came yesterday to spend a couple of days with me. We've been watching Korean videos and today we rented "El Mariachi" and "Desperado" to get ready for the movie, "Once Upon Time In Mexico". Can't wait for that. "El Mariachi" was subtitled in English and it was a really good. People say that you don't have to watch "El Mariachi" to understand "Desperado" or "Once Upon Time In Mexico" but I think it would be good to see the first one to understand how he became a legend and an outlaw. I love foreign films. I took a class involving Mexican movies and most of their movies don't budget over a million dollars. "El Mariachi" took only ten thousand dollars to make and it's really good. Anyways, I can't wait to see "Desperado". Parisa went out to meet her friend while I took a nap. We'll see it when she comes. Oh, good news... my burner decided to work. And now my computer has a dvd player. Parisa installed it for me. Sooo excited. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 09:09 p.m.
Thursday, August 28, 2003

run away...

I want to run away where I can be alone.

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 10:55 p.m.
Tuesday, August 19, 2003

waiting...

Where is my unnie? I should be use to this. My cousin called at 6 today saying she wanted to meet up. She's late again. I'm not even dressed. I think subsconciously I knew she wasn't going to come. Anyways, I've been working at the hakwon from 8:30 to 2. I take long afternoon naps now. I knew teaching would be tiring but I didn't know it would be this tiring. By the time I get home, I'm out like a light. It's really fun though. I get to teach them Spanish, Math, English and some other stuff. I love seeing their faces when they learned something new. I'm not as scared as I was about teaching. I've gained mucho confidence. Today was field trip day and we went bowling. My voice is hoarse cuz I was yelling soooo much. I yelled at the kids to stop running, wandering off... as well as cheering them on. Tomorrow is movie day. Basically we just watch movies all day. I was thinking about getting some ice cream for them. Aren't I the best teacher? J/K hehehehehehe I was complimented by my boss. She loved my hang man idea. I decided that the kids should write sentences but just doing that is soooo boring so I decided to make it fun. We play hang man and with every word they make, they have to write a sentence. It kept the kids quiet and they learned at the same time. I hope they are having as much fun as I am. Elinor on the other hand is suffering. She called me today and she was like, "yoomee, I don't know how you took care of the kids from 3-6. They are sooooo loud and annoying." Finally, she feels my pain!!! I bet she thought it was a piece of cake doing my job. And she doesn't even know the half of it. Including taking care of about 30 kids, add on making math worksheets, correcting the worksheets and filing the worksheets. She doesn't even have to do that and she's complaining. Aigo, and then, I promised myself that I would never ever do anything for her again, but I got weak. She asked me if she can borrow books from a former class I took. I don't know, I was thinking "no" in my head, but I said, "yes". What is wrong with me? She still has my Spanish dictionary that my friend gave me from high school. She probably lost it like she did with my weights. Why don't I learn from my experiences? To my credit, she asked if I still had my midterm and final essays from that class. I said, "no". I told her that I didn't keep copies of work. Oh, another thing...the computer retard aka me hooked up ahjuma's dsl for her!! It wasn't easy either cuz the cd that was suppose to help with the installation wasn't working. I did it manually!!^^ Yay me!!! Wow, today was productive day. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 10:23 p.m.
Thursday, August 7, 2003

sae chingoo...

Today was pretty fun. I was sooo bored that I called my cousin wondering what she was doing. We made plans to meet up at 7, but she flaked out on me again. I went out with one of the piano teachers instead. She called me and we decided to hang out. She such an awesome person. She's a keeper. Anyways, we ate dinner, drank coffee and then went to the beach. It was a nice change from just staying home. Anyways, my cousin got an apartment. I told her to give me an extra key. I am going over everyday!!^^ Her apartment will be a nice haven for me. I can't wait!! Rambling again... Ok, until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 02:03 a.m.
Monday, July 28, 2003

update on concert...

Well, I thought about this and even if shinhwa isn't coming, I want to go. Concerts are always fun and I don't mind watching Jo Sung Mo, Park Jin Young, NRG... perform. I bought tickets last night. I really hope shinhwa comes but if they don't, I'm going to have fun anyways. If it's meant for me to see them, it will happen, if not, oh well...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 12:02 p.m.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003

yay!!^^

As you guys can see, my beautiful Jang Dong Gun is back. Thanks Kelz!! Like always, you jjang!!^^ This helps with blocking out a horrible image I saw this morning. I am traumatized for life. It's also very embarrassing so I can't talk to anyone. Why am I cursed? Anyways, thanks again for putting back my beautiful image!!!^^ Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 11:44 a.m.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003

emotional...

I've experienced all different types of emotions this week. Why do I get hurt so easily? I thought I was a strong person, but I'm just a big fat jello block. I jiggle with the slightest touch. Was that a bad image? Well, I can't think of a different image right now. Anyways, I found out that shinhwa is not coming to the concert I was really looking forward to. Now, I don't know if I want to shell out 85 dollars for the concert. Damn it, I think I missed my chance. I should have gone in with mitra, minji, and others to meet them. I was soooo stupid. I need a life... What the heck am I thinking? I shouldn't be worrying about a concert. I have other things to worry about like money, getting a job... Forgive my ranting... I needed to get my frustrations out. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 02:30 a.m.
Saturday, July 19, 2003

a little less... but still...

I'm still disappointed but I've gotten better. I guess if one really likes a person, you have to accept the other person's flaws and all. I'm trying. Oh, I came to blog cuz I wanted record that I woke up before noon. I'm going to have to start waking up earlier starting from next month cuz I'll be working at the hakwon in the mornings from 8:30 to 2:00. I know it'll be hell waking up that early but the money is good. Besides, after 2, I'll be free to do whatever. I'll be working earlier cuz the guy who is in charge of the summer school program is going to Korea for a month. Sooo lucky. Anyways, I'm off to be productive. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 10:42 a.m.
Tuesday, July 15, 2003

disappointed...

I found out something very disturbing about someone I respected and liked A LOT. I'm very depressed now due to this fact. I know I shouldn't judge without knowing the whole story but still...I can't help it. I really hope it's not true. If it is, I'll never look at that person the same ever again. I feel stupid feeling this way anyways. I'll get over it soon. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 04:29 p.m.
Sunday, July 13, 2003

Johnny...

What can I say? Johnny Depp doesn't disappoint. I was really weary thinking of going to see "pirates..." but to my surprise it was really enjoyable. I loved it. Parisa and I sat together giggling whenever Depp did anything cute or funny. At the end of the movie, Parisa's brother yelled over to us, "do you guys want a cigaritte?" LOL Yes, Johnny Depp was wearing eye makeup and had gold teeth and some other stuff, but that didn't prevent him from being hot!!!^^ Olando Bloom was a cutie too. I want to go see this movie again. The only thing that is stopping me is that it's made by Disney and if I can help it, I don't want to support them. DISNEY IS EVIL!!! Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 03:58 a.m.
Sunday, July 13, 2003

Hmmm...

Whenever I think I have something to say in my blog, and sit to write, I am at a lost of words. To be honest, my life is really boring. There isn't much to talk about. Since I graduated from college, I lost the very little ambition I had. All I do is sleep and get up only to eat, watch t.v., and go to work. Thank goodness for work cuz if I didn't work, I would only be sleeping and gaining weight. Work forces my lazy ass to get up at least thirty minutes before work so I can take a shower and get dressed. I really need to start getting my life straight. I need a real JOB!! I just thought of something remotely interesting but I got distracted and forgot. Oh, I remember... hehehehehe Now that I think of it, it's not really interesting. It's just me reflecting on my stupidity. Let me indulge for awhile. The past few days, I've been watching a lot of videos. I've actually stayed up until the wee hours of the night until morning trying to watch everything I borrowed. You guys have been in my room so you know the masses of videos I have. Anyways, I'm beginning to see how pathetic I've become. I'm turning 24 years old this year and I'm home watching videos. Don't get me wrong, I go out more than I did when I was younger but still, majority of my time is spent at home. When I'm not watching videos, I'm going online to download something that I will probably not watch or care about in a couple of years. I feel like everyone around me is growing out the kpop world while I'm still thoroughly saturated in it, it makes me feel immature and teenybooperish (if that is even a word). It makes me even sadder that I rather be at home than go out. I have no will or desire to date or meet men. And when I see a guy I feel an attraction toward, it only last until the guy leaves. It's like out of sight, out of mind. In high school, I use to be so social but I lost that along the way and became a semi-hermit. Maybe a convent will be a good place for me. In thirty to forty years, I will either be a nun or the crazy cat and dog lady. Stay tuned... Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 11:36 p.m.
Tuesday, July 1, 2003

Graduated!!!

I have finally graduated!! It was a week ago but I was too lazy to blog about it until now. Anyways, I thought this day would never come but I did it. It was sooo much fun having my dear family and friends attend the graduation. There were some people I would have loved to see attend, but unfortunately, due to good reasons could not come. The people who came, I really appreciated you guys cheering and clapping for me. I felt extremely special. Post-graduation party was awesome. It was really simple, but I had such a blast. I think it was because of the company...Juliana, Kelz, Mitra, and Parisa. Thanks guys!! Now, that I have graduated, I've become even lazier. I know I should be looking for a job, but I just want to be in bed sleeping. Hey, that sounds good right now. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 01:22 p.m.
Saturday, June 21, 2003

long time...

I decided to finally blog after many many weeks. Lots have happened since I have blogged but I don't want to go into detail cuz I'm a big fat lazy butt. Three mores days and I am officially graduated. Woohoo 2003!!! I have this constant fear that my name won't be called at graduation. How embarrassing is that? I am calling school tomorrow. I've been having some trouble with the tickets. I only got ten and I made the mistake of inviting more than ten people. I feel pretty guilty about that. Ahjuma won't be able to attend cuz I gave her ticket away. My dad told me that she was busy that day but it turned out that she wasn't. I could have saved her ticket but then her son would have had to attend and I really don't have a ticket for him. Besides, I don't even think she really wants to go. Oh well... must stop worrying about that. What is done is done. I had dinner with my high school teacher yesterday and it was such a blast!!^^ I felt like I was 16 years old again. I still call her Ms. Arnold. Well, my laziness is really kicking in. Before I go... I want to congratulate to my fellow class of 2003!! Gina, who has already graduated... Congratulations!!! Grace who is graduating this friday... Congratulations!!! Mi Na, who was my student is graduating this week also. I can't believe she's going to start college!! Aigo, I feel old. Congrats!!! Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 12:09 a.m.
Thursday, June 12, 2003

brothers...

Why does my brother always think that anything nice that I do for him comes from someone else? I buy him something he likes, he thinks my friends got it for him. I cover him with a blanket thinking he will be cold, he thinks ahjuma does it. Sometimes, I wonder if he will remember I took care him when his mom abandoned him. I know that he loves me but will he ever know how much I love him and think of him more like he was my son than brother. I hope so... My brother is growing up. He has a girlfriend!!! I came home from hanging out with Kelz and he asked if he can tell me something. He got all embarrassed and said that he asked Joey (his girlfriend) out. I didn't know what to say. I felt both proud of him for having the guts to ask someone out and sad cuz he's growing up soooo fast. My baby brother is not a baby anymore. Awwwww... Anyways, yesterday was fun. I went to Kelsey's school to be in her PSA. I was soooo nervous cuz I never been in front of the camera. I hope I did a good job for her. It was a good experience. After looking at some of the guys in her class, I realized that I was in the wrong major. Damn... some of the guys were fine!!! Peter the T.A. and Mike... *KELZ, you were holding out!!!* hehehe I developed a little crush on Mike cuz he was sooo funny. Guys with great sense of humor is my weakness. I told Parisa about my little crush and kind of made it a big deal. I guess cuz I didn't have any crushes for a long time. I don't think it's a big deal. I will forget about Mike in about a week. It's not like anything will happen. Just as a warning, Kelz... Parisa might IM you asking you to tell Mike that I like him. Don't do it!! My threat still stands!! hehehehe Grace, thanks for the email!! I will email you soon. Have fun at Disneyland. Gina, thanks for saying I'm not boring. I know it's not true but it was good to hear!! Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 08:21 p.m.
Thursday, May 22, 2003

boring...

Sometimes, I wonder why people talk to me. I feel like I'm soooo boring. Especially when I talk online, I feel soo unsure of myself. I feel like I should say witty things or at least something remotely interesting but I fail everytime. Maybe that's why I don't talk online much. Anyways, I remember my cousin told me once...she said that I was not much fun to hang out with but she likes to hang out with me cuz I'm someone who is stable and understanding. Basically a good listener. I guess I have my moments but everyone has that. I remember telling my friends during my early college years that I was thinking about becoming a nun. They laughed and didn't believed me. I was half serious and kidding. Recently I've been thinking about it more. I'm not planning to get married or have children so I have that going for me. If I do go through with it, I'm not going until I'm older like 60. Maybe I'll just live in the convent and not be a nun. Either way, I am going to be locked away living my life peacefully as a hermit not boring anyone. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 11:23 p.m.
Thursday, May 15, 2003

Confrontations...

This week is confrontation week. I had to go through two so far. On Monday, Elinor called me asking me to come over her house. She started out asking me if I wanted anything to eat. I told her that I didn't want anything and was about to leave when she asked me to stay. She wanted to know why I have stopped taking rides from her and was soooo distant toward her. At first, I didn't want to talk about it, but I had no choice. She started out telling me that she wanted to talk to me for so long but I kept turning away from her. She also stated that I was one of her closest friend and whatever it was, nothing was worth breaking up 15 years of friendship. She mentioned that when we were younger, we would have just got into a big fist fight and gotten over it. (We played like guys cuz we were the only girls in the group.) I told her that things have changed. I mean, we could have done that when we were little but we're adults now. I told her that no matter how long we've known each other, it's not the same. There are big gaps and we have nothing in common anymore. She agreed but told me that still, she wanted us to get over it. We started being really honest and realized that there were some misunderstandings. After some things were cleared up, things started to get back to normal. We are friends now and Elinor has gotten very nice. The next confrontation was today, with my co-worker. I didn't like my co-worker cuz he didn't help me out. To me, it seemed like he didn't do anything. I was sooo mad at him and he felt it. He wanted to get everything out in the open. So Elinor and I went to drink with him and his buddies. We got everything straightened out and he apologized. Parisa says that I forgave Elinor too easily. I don't know, maybe I did, but I believe everyone deserves a second chance. Besides, she told me that she'll be there if Elinor does something again and I need to whine about it. Parisa, Jjang!!! I am beginning to realize that I am very stubborn. If I decide to ignore a person, I show no mercy. I am becoming more and more like my dad. In some ways, it's a good thing but in others, it's very bad. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 01:48 a.m.
Thursday, May 8, 2003

interesting...

Excerpt from the book, Memoris of a Geisha....
"I'd never understood how closely things are connected to one another. We human beings are only a part of something very much larger. When we walk along, we may crush a beetle or simply cause a change in the air so that a fly ends up where it might never have gone otherwise. And if we think of the same example but with ourselves in the role of the insect, and the larger universe in the role we've just played, it's perfectly clear that we're affected every day by forces over which we have no more control than the poor beetle has over our gigantic foot as it descends upon it. What are we to do? We must use whatever methods we can to understand that the movement of the universe around us and time our actions so that we are not fighting the currents but moving with them."

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 01:25 a.m.
Saturday, April 26, 2003

just had a thought...

As I was trying to enjoy a book, I began to realize how I can't seem to get into a book like I use to. I remember when I was little, I use to go to the library everyday and sit in a corner for hours and just read. Books were my haven and closest friends. They were always there and never tried to hurt you. I could just read and get away from it all. If I didn't want to deal with anything at home, I would go read. My grandfather once said that I was easy to find. If I wasn't home, people can find me in the library. I think I started losing interest in books once my library moved. The library wasn't a block away anymore. I will enjoy a book here and there but it's not the same. It's really painful to realize the books I loved soooo much aren't my first loves anymore. Is this the sign of growing up? Whenever people talk about being young again, I always thought they were crazy. I mean, it took soooo much to get to this age, and they want to do it all over again? What insanity!!! But now, I want to go back to the days where I looked forward every after school to going to the library where I can escape reality and be whoever I wanted to be. This makes me sound like such a nerd. It's just a thought... Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 11:09 p.m.
Tuesday, April 22, 2003

Drama!!

Why can't I get away from drama? I don't want it!! Elinor and I are not friends anymore. I don't even know if we ever were. No, we were but not for a long time. Yesterday, when work was done, I was waiting to be paid. Elinor thought I was waiting for her and she informed me that she was not going to go home so she won't be able to give me a ride. I told her that it was ok and that she didn't have to worry about giving me rides. She said ok and left. When I got home 20 minutes later, I saw her car parked in plain view. I was soooo hurt. I mean she lied to me just so that she didn't have to give me a ride. I knew then and there it was over. Today, we saw each other and we barely said hi. There goes fifteen years of friendship. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 09:57 p.m.
Wednesday, April 16, 2003

update of my uninteresting life....

It seems like forever since I blogged. Last weekend was a memorable one. First of all, a friendship I thought was lost became rekindled. I was really nervous about it cuz I thought it would be awkward but it wasn't. Everything began to come back, all the good times and inside jokes. It's good to have her back. Secondly, I went to San Diego with Kelz and Mitra. They went to the concert while I visited Parisa. We went to the pier and talked. It was pretty warm and really nice. I love the beach. I told, Parisa that the pier would be a great place for a first time and she told me if I have a first date, I should bring him here. I don't think anyone would want to drive for 2 hours just to go a pier when we have the Santa Monica pier so close by. Maybe I'll do it if the guy is worth it and I don't mind riding in a car with him for 2 hours. After we left the pier we went got some sushi and hung out until the concert was over. I think we all had a blast. We drove back and got home around 2 a.m. *Thanks, Kelz for letting me bum a ride from you.* On Sunday, we went to my house and made homemade nandarang. We ate until we were about to burst, like old times. I had such an enjoyable weekend. *Thanks guys, I hope we can do this again.* Oh, I wanted to say something else. While one friendship was rekindled, another one died. I think I will completely stop taking rides from Elinor. This is becoming stupid. I know she doesn't want to give me rides but feels obligated cuz we live in the same apartment. I don't want to deal with the drama and resentment. I feel sooo uncomfortable being in the same car. We barely talk. It's such a shame since she is my oldest friend, but when I think about it, do we really know each other? I don't think we ever had a serious talk about anything. It's also sad that I don't feel an empty void whenever I think about ending the friendship. Usually, I do but with Elinor, nothing... Does that make me a cold-hearted bitch? Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 08:23 a.m.
Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Hmmm...

My computer isn't trying to kill itself anymore!!^^ Parisa came on Monday and made it all better. My computer is running faster because I put more ram in there. I am somewhat computer literate now!! So... do I take down that thing about being a computer retard? No, I'll leave that up cuz there are sooo much more to learn. Anyways, I'm bored out of my mind. I don't feel like watching videos even though I borrowed a ton of them. No good programs to watch on T.V. I don't want to go out cuz I got comfortable. When I think about it, I'm more restless than bored. I want to do something but I don't know what. I want to be productive but at the same time, I don't. Am I making sense at all? I have things to do like clean my room but I don't do it. WHY?!!! Why is it that I'm most productive when I have something to study for? Now that I don't have any school, I have become the laziest person alive. I wake up at one in the afternoon everyday. I have never done that. If I didn't have to go to work, I think I would be sleeping all day. I really have to get off my big butt and start doing something. Ok, I will...tomorrow :P Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 09:22 p.m.
Friday, April 4, 2003

some news...

Yesterday, I went to the Getty with Parisa and her brother. I have never been to the Getty and it was an experience. It was sooo hot but I really enjoyed looking at all the beautiful artworks. What made the visit was being able to see some Monet paintings. I love his work. We had to leave early cuz I had to go to work so I couldn't just sit there and stare at his paintings. Next time, that's all I'm going to do. After work, I took a nap and then went out with my cousin. She was really happy and trying to get her life together. She was talking about how she wanted to quit smoking. She told me that her weight increased from a two digit number to a three digit number...all 100 pounds. Man, imagine being 100 pounds. My dream... Anyways, she also told me that she wanted to get a new car, maybe next year or something and she wanted to give me her acura. I can't wait!!! Maybe by next year, I will be driving. Not well, but I will be driving. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 12:04 a.m.
Friday, March 28, 2003

whee!!!!^^

I am extremely happy!! I am done with everything. Today was my last final and now I'm done with school. I can't believe I'm not a student anymore. When I was coming home, I felt a sense of lost like I lost a part of my identity. I am happy that I am done and the fact that I don't have to worry about test or studying but still...there is something about being a student. I won't dwell on it. Parisa came over for a couple of hours. We were watching some shinhwa video and laughing our asses off. Can't wait to hang out with her again. Until I blog again... people call me!! I'm free!!!

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 04:03 a.m.
Saturday, March 22, 2003

war...

War has begun due to the stupidity of our so-called leader. God help us all...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 07:57 p.m.
Wednesday, March 19, 2003

few more days...

Yesterday was my first final. I wasn't too worried about this class cuz the professor is extremely nice and he started his first class telling us he wasn't here to fail us. So, I think I have a good chance of passing. I have two more finals to go before I'm truly liberated. Both of my finals are on Friday. I know I should be feeling happy that I'm ending school, but I feel this sense of emptiness. I figured out why. School is like a security blanket. It is always there, not always comforting but you can always depend on being there. Now my security blanket is being taken away from me or have I outgrown it? I have fears that I might fail one of my classes and since I'm registered for spring it will be such a hassle to try to get into a class. I am filled with mixed emotions. I'm happy, sad, scared, disappointed, insecure...the list goes on, but I'll live. Just need to survive this week. *Kelz, thanks for your concern. I will call you once I am done. Grace, I'll call you after finals too. Love ya guys lots!!*

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 01:14 p.m.
Tuesday, March 18, 2003

almost done...

The closer I get to finals, the more worried I get. I keep thinking I won't be able to graduate cuz I won't pass my finals. I know I'm just being paranoid, but I can't help it. I want it to be next friday already, so I would have nothing to worry about. I am sooo sick of work and my co-workers. I'm getting this really bad vibe with Elinor just cuz of stupid parking and gas money. I think we are just tolerating each other just the sake of keeping peace. Also, the more I think about it, I am not meant to have a mother. Seriously, no matter how much I like the lady or how nice she is, I find flaws and I can't stand it. I believe I feel this way cuz I got soooo used to not having a motherly presence. Or, it's just that the things she does annoys the shit out of me. I mean, I think if you made the decision to take care of someone, you should take care of them, not just half ass it. When my dad gets remarried, I'm moving out or I won't be home often. I feel like crap cuz I'm sooo worried. I think everything will be better by the end of next week. Then my blog entries will be much more positive!!^^ Until then...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 02:03 a.m.
Thursday, March 13, 2003

another one!!

Wow, I think I'm on a roll. I haven't blogged this much. I was talking to Gina today and she convinced me to write more regularly in my blog. I was really thinking about deleting my blog site. I mean how can someone be really interested in my boring life if I'm not that enthusiastic about it myself? I'm feeling pretty relaxed cuz I just came out of a long hot bubble bath and shower. Right now, I have mud on my face. I don't think it will help me look any better but the mud pack I bought would go to waste. I think I will go check on my laundry and hope to not scare any children along the way!! lol Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 05:12 p.m.
Sunday, March 9, 2003

jury service...

I'm sooo tired. Damn paper. I had to write a paper about the Great Zimbabwe. It is due today so of course I proscrastinated until the very last hour. I stayed up all night and finished at 6:30. Then, I had to go to jury duty. I was sooo annoyed because they kept me there for 2 hours before I can talk to anyone about being excused. I didn't get excused but my date has been postponed so I have to go through that again. Aigo, sometimes, I wonder why I go on. I want to go to bed right now but I can't. I have two more classes and still have to go to work. I wish I had an alarm so I can take a nice nap. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 11:01 a.m.
Friday, March 7, 2003

Lent...

So, yesterday was Ash Wednesday and I didn't even know. I only found out when Kelz called me. *Kelz, I'm sooo proud you went to mass!!* I should have gone!! =( To make it up, I decided to do something for lent. For forty days, I will give up being lazy. This is going to be sooo difficult, but I am going to do it!!

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 08:35 p.m.
Thursday, March 6, 2003

school....

It just hit me...school is over in about two weeks. My last final is on March 21st. Where did the time go? I'm still waiting for a reply back from ucla about my graduate application. I really hope I get in. If I don't, Parisa wants me to go to ucsd. I would love to go just to be near her cuz I know we would have sooo much fun, but it's like 3 hours from home and I'm weary about leaving my dad and brother alone. I am too attached to my family. Maybe it's my ego, but it scares me to leave my dad and brother alone to fend for themselves. I bet it's just me. They would probably be better off. Also, there is the issue with money. I have none. I won't be able to afford living by myself. If I don't get into school, I'm just going to work and go to school later. I might change my major altogether and go to chiropratic school. Big change from history. I don't know yet. I'm beginning to feel the void that Audrey was talking about when she graduated. She told me that once you graduate you feel empty and lost cuz most of your life was spent in school being a student but once out of school, you are not a student anymore. So, if I am not a student, what am I? Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 11:48 a.m.
Wednesday, March 5, 2003

feeling better...

I'm still thinking about becoming a hermit only seeing people who really matter once and awhile but I'm feeling much better. I think it's cuz it finally occured me how people are and now, I won't be disappointed. I've been seeing as well as experiencing how people really are for a long time and now, I've been hit full force with it. I am sick of trying to be nice to everyone when they don't give a shit about me. I have come to find out that most people are out to take care of themselves. Whatever is best for them, they will do. It doesn't matter if their actions hurt others. My rosy filled glasses is off. I am not going to be naive anymore!!! *Grace, thanks!! ^.~

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 11:48 a.m.
Monday, March 3, 2003

hermit...

I think I am meant to be a hermit. Nothing goes right when I'm around a lot of people. One way or another I end up feeling really bad about myself. Is there something really wrong with me? Am I not deserving of some attention or respect? At least I know who I can count on. I can trust no one at work. I am going to stop trying. Sorry about the depressing entries. But you guys know I only come to blog to be emotional. Forgiveness Please.... Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 02:16 a.m.
Friday, February 28, 2003

BORED!!!

Ok, I'm in the computer lab and I am bored out of my mind. I've read my emails and caught up with everyone's blogs. The one time I feel like studying, I forgot to bring my book!! I still have about a half an hour before my next class. So, here I am blogging about nothing at all. I still can't shake the weird feelings that I have been having but it has gotten better. It's like something is going to happen but I don't know what, and it makes me nervous. Maybe it's anxiety? I want it to be end of March already so I don't have to go to school anymore. I am sooo sick of school. I hate all my classes. Thank God, there is only three more weeks left of school. I think I'm becoming bored with everything... bored with life itself. I need some guidance. Any volunteers? Maybe it's time to go to Church and ask for divine guidance. Hmmm... how long as it been since I actually prayed? I really have to think about this. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 11:30 a.m.
Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Empty...

Grace left on Friday and my room still feels a little empty. One day, the floor was filled with bags and the next nothing. I had sooo much fun while Grace came down to visit. I also got to spend quality time with Kelz. The ordeal we had to go through with Kelz's car was an adventure. I hope you guys feel the same way. I'm glad everything worked out and Grace was able to get home on schedule. I hope despite it all, you guys had fun cuz I did. I feel kind of weird... can't really express it. I'll get over it soon though. Suddenly I am lost of words. Until I blog again.

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 08:28 p.m.
Sunday, February 23, 2003

Late, but...

Happy paegan-excuse-to-buy-naughty-underwear-day!!! LOL (Courtesy of Parisa)

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 10:05 a.m.
Saturday, February 15, 2003

mission accomplished...

I made Parisa a cd with my favorite shinhwa songs and she loved it. She called me to tell me that she really likes shinhwa. I don't think she likes them as much as turbo, but give me time. I can convert her!!^^ Anyways, right now I should be working on my midterm papers but I'm proscrastinating again. Damn, I have to stop doing that. Instead of working my midterm papers, I went to the movies with Parisa and her boyfriend. We saw "Lost in La Mancha". It was pretty good. It's a documentry about a director's difficult and long road in making his movie about Don Quixote. I think it's a good film to watch for those who want to become film makers. The movie was actually really sad cuz the director has been working on making the film about Don Quixote for 10 years and never achieved his goal. Johnny Depp was in it, which was the main reason Parisa and I went to see it. Then I came home and did the laundry. Parisa came over 2 hours later to watch "Donnie Brasco". It was such a good movie. I recommend to anyone who likes mob movies. I have more to say but I think I have proscrasinated enough. Because of my laziness, I might be screwed with one of my papers cuz I was suppose to get some readings online and I never took the time to learn how I can do that. I emailed the professor on Saturday and she never emailed back. I think I'm totally screwed but oh well... my fault. Can't blame anyone else. Now, I'm really embarrassed to even look at my professor. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 01:00 a.m.
Monday, February 10, 2003

yeah... go away...

Yesterday, while my friend and I were walking to my house after dinner, two boys (I say boys because they look like they are my brother's age) came up to us and started flirting. I ignored them and kept talking to my friend hoping they would go away but they kept trying to get our attention. The most annoying one was next to me and he kept trying to talk to us. I think he got annoyed that we kept ignoring so he got in front of us and asked if we were a couple. I wanted to get rid of them so I said, "yeah, so go away," while I shooed him away. He apologized and my friend and I started cracking up and kinda of loudly stated what an idiot he was. I mean, come on... he was like 15 trying to be some player. We couldn't stop laughing until we got to my house. I called Parisa and told her about this incident and she thought it was the funniest thing. Then she told me that I shouldn't have done that cuz that could have turned him on even more. I didn't even think about that. My brother confirmed this. I told him about the incident cuz I thought those boys might know my brother and I didn't want them to tell him that his sister was gay especially since it was all a joke. After I told him, he called me dumb for saying that cuz in his words, "Guys like lesbians." Well... next time if that happens again, I will know better and tell them I was married (Parisa's idea). Until, I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 11:11 a.m.
Monday, February 3, 2003

ugh.. I'm sick

I think I have the stomache flu. It happened sooo suddenly. Yesterday, I came back home at 8:30 after tutoring and I ate dinner. I was watching some reruns of "Boy Meets World" that I recorded and then suddenly at midnight, I had to go to the bathroom. For the whole night, I was frequenting the bathroom. I didn't get any sleep. I finally got to sleep at 4 and was going to sleep until 8:15 when stupid Belmont (my brother's school) calls to tell me about some stupid meeting they are planning. I hate that school. They act like they care about the students by sending stupid fliers about meetings and stuff, but in reality they don't give shit if the students pass or not. The stupid people gave my brother worthless classes. He should be learning world history right now but he's taking two electives. Stupid counselor!! Sorry, I got side-tracked. Anyways they woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep. Since I was up, I called Parisa to tell her my update about exercising cuz she threatens me when I don't call her telling her that I've exercised. I'm scared cuz she's learning Karate. I know she can kick my butt. Talking to her made me feel better so I got ready for school. Parisa wanted me to stay home and sleep but I have this thing where I get really nervous if I don't go to class. I feel like if I don't go to class I'll miss out in important info that could affect my grade. I'm paranoid. Coming to school wasn't a good idea cuz after 40 minutes, I had to go to the bathroom. I was sending mental messages to my professor to end class so I can go to the bathroom but it didn't work. She ended class a few minutes later. After using the bathroom, I felt better, but I still can't wait to go home. I have two more classes then 3 hours of work and then I can go home. Stupid Belmont is making me go to a mandatory meeting tomorrow at 10 so I can't even rest. I hope by tomorrow, I will get well. One good thing came out of me getting sick. I am not eating. When I even think about food, I get sick. Maybe I'll get lucky and lose some weight. *Grace, I think it was a sign from God to stop making empty promises and actually start. What do you think? I can't wait for you to come!! Thinking about you coming next month makes me feel a lot better!!!^^* I was thinking how I will be getting sick a lot when I become a teacher especially, since I'm teaching Kindergarten. All those germs... I got sick cuz one of my students at work hugged me and then announced that she threw up. I didn't think anything of it and kept returning her hugs to make her feel better. Next time, I will know better. I hope my brother doesn't get sick. *Kelz, how is your throat? I hope you feel better* Until I blog again.

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 11:22 a.m.
Friday, January 24, 2003

Beautiful!!!

I just saw my blog layout and I was inspired to write an entry!!^^ You are a true genius, Kelz!! You are sooooooo awesome. I always feel bad about asking you to make my layout but you never complain and you always surprise me. Jang Dong Gun looks sooo hot in that picture and Kelz did the impossible. She made him look hotter!! Thank you soooooooo much!! I am having such an awesome weekend. My dad is out of town and my brother is at our grandma's house so that leaves me home alone. I LOVE BEING HOME ALONE!! All that freedom. I can play music as loud as I want, eat whatever I want, basically do whatever I want. Yesterday, Kelz and Parisa came to visit. It was soooo much fun. Kelz and I went to no rea bang and sang our hearts out. Kelz has a copy of some of us singing. Oh my goodness, Kelz please burn it!! Then Parisa came up from San Diego around 9 and we went to Blockbuster to borrow some movies. We were going to have a Johnny Depp fest again. For the Depp fest, we borrowed "The Astronaunt's Wife" and "Nightmare on Elm Street". After borrowing the videos, we went to pick up some pizza. Before we even got to see the movie, we ran into some problems. First Parisa lost her key to her rental car. We spent about hour looking for it while she called some car service. They were really helpful. They came about an hour later and made her another copy of the key. We got to see part of the movie while we waited for the car service person. When Parisa finally got her car door opened, she found her key on her seat. We thought finally we could get to the rest of the movie but something else happened. Why is it when we are watching Johnny Depp, someone has to interrupt? Parisa's brother called saying that he was in Sunset and drunk. The people he was hanging out were also drunk so there was no one to drive them home. Parisa, Kelz and I went to the "Key Club" to pick them up. Kelz was such a good sport. She didn't have to but she went along and drove Parisa's car while Parisa drove the other car. *Kelz, thanks sooo much for being such a good friend. Yesterday, you really showed me how much I can count on you.* We finally got back around 4. Thank goodness my dad wasn't here. We finished watching "The Astronaunt's Wife" and everyone went home. I have to add it was a good movie. Johnny Depp is such a good actor. He came out soooo sexy in this movie. I want to be his shirt!! hahahahaha Today, I stayed home and watched videos. I feel like I am in heaven. Soooooo happy. I just have to do one thing. I have to stop eating!!! Why is it when someone is not here, I eat more? Oh, Gina I hope you are feeling better!!!^^ Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 09:53 p.m.
Sunday, January 19, 2003

screwed over

Freaking Finanical Aid screwed me!!! Today was not a good day. I went online to change my schedule and the damn thing wouldn't let me cuz I had a hold on my registration. It turned out, I owed 1,599.68 to the university. I called the finanical aid office and the guy told me that I owed money cuz in their computer they had me down as living by myself, which was why they gave me more money last year. I was sooooo mad cuz whenever they sent a paper asking for my housing verification, I've always check the box that said that I was a commuter living with parents. I have been doing that all the years that I have been receiving finanical aid. Now, I have to write a letter to get everything cleared up and I don't even know if I will get my money. I had to borrow money and I HATE borrowing money. Also, today, my computer decided to give me more stress and not work. All day today, I have been turning on and off my computer. It took me until 11 to get my computer to work. WHY ME? These days, I feel sooo under appreciated which is depressing as hell. My aunt is right, looks does matter. The pretty people get all the attention and luck without even having to try, while I have to do everything possible to get one tenth of the attention. I feel deserted and unwanted. I feel the best when I'm home. If I continue on this way, I will probably be a hermit. Sooo many things clouding my mind and it's making me dizzy. Time to get serious. I really do need to invest in myself and try to at least look average. I will start tomorrow. Need sleep now. I have an early class tomorrow. This quarter has to be my last cuz now it's official, I can't afford to go to school anymore. Need to work. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 12:29 a.m.
Wednesday, January 8, 2003

better late then never...

Happy New Years everyone!!^^ I know I'm late but laziness struck. I had a pretty good new years except, my dad scared me half to death not coming home for a couple of days. He went on a little trip and didn't call. I was sooo mad at him, but I really can't say anything cuz I'm exact the same. I didn't call my dad when I arrived to Washington until I finally remember a couple of days later. What really matters is that he's ok and home. I got to see my cousins on new years which was awesome. They are the cutest things. The youngest one gave me a hug and kiss and announced that he liked me. I melted!!^^ My 16-year-old cousin got her driver's license. I still can't believe she's a junior in high school. I feel sooo old. This is the year of the yang (the 79's) so hopefully, everything I planned and hoped for will be a great success. Yesterday, Parisa and I had a Johnny Depp fest. We watched "What's eating Gilbert Grape" and "Chocolat". Both of the movies were really good. Especially "Chocolat" cuz Depp came out really yummy. Whenever Depp ate chocolate or just came out in a scene, Parisa eat chocolate. Let's just say, she gained about 5 pounds. There should be a law looking that fine. We also went to a bar to meet up with Parisa's friends. After going to a bar for the first time, I decided that it will be my last. It is soooooo crowded and it's just people standing around with their drinks. It was not impressive. The only exciting thing that happened was Parisa riding the electronic bull. She was really good, but she brusied her knee a little bit. Poor thing... We left after an hour. We left in the middle of "Chocolat" and we wanted to get back to the fine Johnny Depp instead of wasting our time standing around. School starts tomorrow. Not really looking forward to it. This will be my last quarter (I hope). Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 03:39 p.m.
Sunday, January 5, 2003

I'm back!!!^^

Ahem... I first want to make an announcement. I passed my Msat!!! I didn't blog about taking the Msat (Multiple Subject Exam) cuz I didn't think I passed it. After I took that 6 hour exam, I wanted to cry cuz I thought I didn't pass. It was soooo hard. I think I was also nervous about it, cuz all the people were talking about how much they studied, prep classes they took, and some admitting they had to take it several times. After feeling bad about the test that one day, I decided to worry about it when I get my results. I forgot about it until I came home from Washington. I was waiting around the baggage claim with my dad and I was apologizing to him how I didn't get him anything from Washington. He smiled and told me that I gave him the best present. I was confused cuz I didn't get my dad anything and then he told me that I passed my exam!! I almost cried. I couldn't believe it. When I got home four hours later cuz the airline lost my baggage, I called my grandma and she told me the sweetest story. She told me that a day before Christmas eve, she woke up yelling out loud, "LETTER" in Korean. She didn't know what came over her. She came over my house the day after and told me dad to get the mail. He told her that the mail didn't come until 4 but she insisted and there it was... the letter stating that I passed my exam. My grandma was soooo happy. I know that all my thanks goes to my grandma and dad for praying for me all the time. Without them, I know I wouldn't have passed. Sarang Hae halmoni and appa!!! *MUHA* I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I missed all of you while I was in Washington. I had a lot of fun with Gina. Thanks again for having me, Gina!!^^ I'm suddenly a lost of words. Until I blog again...

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 12:25 p.m.
Sunday, December 29, 2002

out of state...

I'm here in Washington State visiting Gina having loads of fun. At first, I was really nervous about coming here cuz I was afraid of what her parents would think of me. When I got here, all my worries went away. Her parents are really nice and they made me feel at home. Also, I am surrounded by shinhwa. Let me elaborate. When I first walked into Gina's room, I was in awe. Her room is literally cover with posters. From her ceilings to all of her walls. Everywhere you look there are the gorgeous faces of gasoos and of course korean soccer players. It's soooo great. I want to take a picture. I thought Washington would be a boring place but the longer I'm here, I'm really falling with the peacefulness. It's really quiet and quite beautiful. Gina is surrounded by nature. There are sooooooo many trees. I miss my family, friends, the noise, the pollution, and take out but I'm glad I'm here. *Thanks, Gina for having me!!!^^ Sarang sarang* The only thing that could make this trip better is if Kelz came also, like planned. *Miss you lots, Kelz!!* Oh, yesterday, Gina and I were watching this parody of the movie, Disco Wang something... and it was the funniest thing. Bi, Lee Sung Jin, and some comedian whose name I forgot came out in it and let me tell you, Bi was looking hot!! I really started liking Bi when I saw his performance of his second song. And then I saw him in Orange, that was I started liking him more. He is a major hottie now. Another eye-candy!!^^ Anyways, I wanted to wish everyone happy holidays and I miss you guys a lot!!

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 02:57 p.m.
Saturday, December 21, 2002

DONE!!!

I am done with finals and my graduate applications!! I am truly liberated. Time to play and have fun. Sooo much to do!! Can't wait!!^^

Wang Unnie Jungmal Gan Da @ 01:48 p.m.
Saturday, December 14, 2002